Internal Family System

 I made the decision in November to start therapy again, and my therapist has been a hugely positive influence on my self-image. She practices Internal Family Systems Therapy, which focuses on the different parts of the self that make you you. The world around us seems to have grown more and more complex, no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves it's one thing or another, and I think that this applies to how we view ourselves too. The way I've been able to navigate the uncertainty of the world is by looking inward and working on the person who will be with me through it all-- myself. Doing so has made me more understanding of others, and helps me understand the motivations behind why I interact with the world the way I do. This poem is proving that uncertainty is bone-deep; we are constantly growing and changing, and when we realize this, the rest of the uncertainty in the world seems more familiar.

Kate Knox

When was the last time you talked to yourself?

Don't laugh.

When was the last time you spoke to yourself, and listened?

Why do you think we term "talking to yourself" as a negative thing?

Because we are taught to ignore the parts that make us whole--complex.

I haven't had the energy to talk to many other people lately.

So I spoke to the little girl that was bullied for seven years straight.

The middle schooler who still was true to herself, even when the world was against her.

The teenager who forgot what it was like to be alone-- and did anything to prevent it.

The college freshman who blamed herself for a night that was never her fault.

The college sophomore who thought that only failures let go of obligations.

I spoke to the first semester junior that realized where she comes from cannot always be loved.

The Fall Out Boy fan who realized that she is what she loves, not who loves her.

The snobby artist who refuses failure or loss of interest in herself.

The frayed nerves who have to be someone, or what's the point?

The activist who refuses to label herself.

The lover, who is so in love with love that she refuses the idea of being in a relationship.

I learned a lot by talking to myself this year.

The battleground of my brain has turned into a classroom.

The different parts of me respect and learn instead of cringe and shame.

Take a moment to close your eyes, throw out your shame, and look at the different parts of you.

Say hello. Give them a hug. They've done a lot to get you here.

We've spent so much time ignoring our complexities we forget that others are complex-

life is complex.

And yet, it goes on.

Just like a good conversation.